this week..I’v been TRYING to read a certain book, I’ve been TRYING to look for work AND I’ve been TRYING to research for something that I’m interested in….*sigh*

lately, I’ve come to a realization that no matter how many times I get lectured by my parents, no matter if my bro keeps downloading stuff and keeps delaying this MapleStory goal, only one thing can change me, and that’s not just words or stories cause those honestly mean nothing to me…I know I am cruel, trust me…I want this to happen so bad that I’d say, that karma will come to me big time if I said this out loud at all…and that no one will forgive these few words and thoughts…

I hate myself deep inside, believe me, 80% of the times I’m mostly emotionless
and the 20% remains online/anime/movies

I’ve done everything I can possibly can, to try to change myself….but clearly, nothing is working…

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